THE SPORTS LISPERER

The day would bring darkness, how could it not? Confusion and gloom would carry the moment, how could anything otherwise occur? Day would become night and black would be white and all that is good and pure in this world would devolve into the endless morass of nothingness. A weekend without football?!? Dear God, what would happen? How would we live? What could one do? I recall a college friend at Bowling Green stating, after Art Modell moved the Browns to Baltimore, that weekends would ‘cease to exist’. And yet, exist they did. What would I do?

Well, I had been procrastinating on a writing project, I could focus on that (I finished the first draft, so mission accomplished). Some family time had been sacrificed to the gridiron games, perhaps that could be mended. Was there perhaps a world beyond the NFL Red Zone? Perish the thought but as it turned out… there was. And is.

It was 68 degrees and sunny in Hermosa Beach on Sunday. After a rewarding week of work, I walked on the strand along the ocean as families rode their bikes, dog stretched their legs, and a calm spring day overtook this sunny winter day. Yes, there was no football, and it was… okay.

I read a book (Bo Jackson’s biography, The Last Folk Hero by Jeff Pearlman, which was mildly disappointing), I attempted to watch whatever the NFL has turned the Pro Bowl into (how is it that only the NFL has NO IDEA how to serve up an all-star game; it made me miss MTV’s Rock n Jock) and apparently, there’s this thing called Karaoke (the first two singers sang Phil Collins’ songs, so I left) and that wasn’t too great but otherwise, it turns out there is a lot to do on Sunday’s.

You see, the vice grip of weekend football is over and now many things are possible. My long-neglected golf game can be worked on. Bowling? That could be fun. Afternoon delight can mean more than a dumb 70s song, right? Family time? Let’s not get too crazy but one gets the idea. There are so many things to look forward to, now that there is only one more football game.

And then, of course, pitchers and catchers is coming up.

A long-awaited TIP OF THE CAP to the Los Angeles Dodgers for finally retiring Fernando Valenzuela’s number. Yes, it’s cute that the rule had been one needed to be enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame to get a Dodger number retired but why? Orel Hershiser and Steve Garvey’s numbers should also be retired. Fernando was not just a player, but a cultural icon who changed the face of the people who watched the game and the dynamic of the fans in southern California. Congrats Fernando, now please, be gracious enough to sign autographs once in a while.

A SHAKE OF THE HEAD and ROLL OF THE EYES to the NFL for that ridiculous display on Sunday. Listen, I get it. No player wants to get his head knocked off for a stupid all-star game and the owners don’t want to lose the cash cow but that whatever yesterday was insanely dumb. It was like watching Battle of the Network Stars, perhaps a reference that is too old for some readers. I think they should make it into the Free Agency Bowl. All the players that are up for free agency and in dire need of a new contract can showcase their ability in this game. Baker Mayfield as QB? D’onte Foreman as RB? Just a thought.

That’s it for this episode. Stay tuned for Friday when I make my Super Bowl picks.